{JM} Writing Prompt

I have a friend over at {JM}. I recommend everyone read her blogs. She is not only one of the most selfless people I've met, but she is also a great writer. So, I'm proud to introduce a hopefully new topic that will help me keep up with my blogs, writing prompts.

This prompt was especially enticing, because who doesn't have things they wish they wouldn't have done. And today's prompt is born...

What do you wish someone had told you?

~I wish someone had told me that I would get over my first "love" as hard as it may have been

~..To guard my heart, because being broken hearted is a lot harder than being alone.

~That sometimes biting your tongue is better than speaking harsh words that don't fade away as easy as you may think.

~Life will never be what I expect, but it's always mine.

Inspiration of the day

I ran across this video today, and all I can say is I am inspired.

My favorite part is when he says "When Jesus says 'it is finished' I believe He meant it."

This video brought me to tears. I all too often forget that when Christ died on the cross for me, that it was not by anything I have done, but by His sacrifice, that we are saved. Yes, I still deal with my issues, but God looks at me with love, not in condemnation and He pursues me, every day, every hour, every minute.

I pray that I would seek Him. In this journey of life, I've seen so many miracles. I have so many amazing friendships with those who love Jesus and those who don't.

Whatever side of the spectrum, I want to live my life knowing that I am NO better than anyone. My struggles are the same as anyone who does not believe in God. My joyful times are probably the same too. We have different beliefs, but we're all people. I want to love everyone, because they are worthy of love. Jesus thought so too :).

Work In Progress

This new year is coming together much nicer than I expected. I had no high expectations of change, but change is exactly what is happening around here. The past year was a very difficult one for me personally. I transitioned from going to school full-time and not working to working a full-time job while going to school full-time as well. I changed my major, started a new relationship and moved out of my parents house. It was a big year of change for me.

The change's in my life were positive for the most part, but still hard nonetheless. I think change is always hard no matter if its good or bad. I think those are the growing pains of life, you learn to move forward, but whether you'd like to believe it or not, the things that you've never done means that you're a step behind people who have been doing them for a while.

One of my hardest changes would definitely be that of moving out. It was probably one of the more spontaneous and unplanned things I did all year. It was hard, financially and emotionally. I missed my parents a lot. I missed being in a house filled with at least 4 people minimum at all times, but I've learned to love this little place of my own. Financially, I've learned that money is a very finite resource. That was a big reality check. I learned that in this big world, bills do not pay themselves and that decorating an apartment costs a lot more than I would have expected.

In the past year, I learned the loving someone who has a child is likely one of the most difficult things I have ever done, but I know that in the end it will be well worth the sacrifice because I love them both and I am proud that my boyfriend is such a good dad and example to his son.

School was also a big change this year. I went from focusing on going to school for nursing to becoming a business major. I finally applied for my transfer and should be hearing back very soon. School, was extremely difficult this semester. I never realized how hard it would be to take 12 units and work 40 hours a week. It's difficult, but I did it and I am proud!

I could go on and on about the things I've learned this year, but in the end it boils down to this. My life is a balancing act. Sometimes I have to sacrifice a little bit to make sure I do the things that need to be done, while still finding time for myself, my family and cultivating a [newer] relationship. The changes that are happening here are realizing that my life will never be perfect, but it will always be mine and it is up to me to decide what I will make of it. I am holding myself to the fact that I will never let my high expectations hurt my relationships, that I am taking the important people around me for who they are, just like God does for me every single day and loving them to death because in the end, I can't change anyone, and honestly, I don't want to. I want to love those around me, because they are worthy to be loved.

My life is a lot like my writing right now, it's a little all over the place, but it's a work in progress.

Thankfulness - a letter to my parents

I had a friend pose a question asking if there was someone in my life that I under appreciated and if so how would I say thank you.

I am so blessed to have 2 amazing people in my life, who definitely have the most under-appreciated job, that of being parents. Parents to me and my 3 siblings. In 22 years of living, I have been able to count on, love and have the support of my parents. As I grow older our relationship keeps growing. I love my parents for their strength, for their unconditional love of their children and for being the ultimate example of the fact that marriage is a struggle, but also that it is possible to work at keeping it together - with love, patience and perseverance. I am one of the lucky ones who can say that my parents have been married for 22 years.

My mom is the most inspiring person I know. She had 4 children before the age of 30, worked full time my whole life and is still able to put food on the table at night and love each and every one of us with all her heart. She challenges me everyday to make my dreams a reality. She is a successful woman and an amazing mother. Even with no example to look after, my mom was born to be a mother. She is caring, supportive and she believes in her children with all her heart. In the bible it says that "love hopes all things." My mom lives this out every single day. She has never given up on me. She believes in me more than I do myself. And for that all I can say is thank you, I love you and I'm thankful to call you my mother.

My dad has such a great heart. He loves his children. He takes care of his home. He has taught me that in all things to have pride and confidence in myself. He loves my mom. He has never left when things got tough, and he has taught my brother, sisters and me to always put family first. My dad has a passion about God that without, I think I would have never gone to church, been baptized or learned what life is about. He is strong willed and sometimes even hard headed, but he would never think twice about being there when you need him. I am thankful to have such an amazing father, one that has supported me in all that I do. I love you, Dad. Thank you for everything.

So this is my thank you to those who mean the most. To those who often go unappreciated. I love you both. Thank you for everything you both do everyday for our family.

The Problem with Uncertainty

I've always been the kind of person who wants to have full and complete control over everything in my life. I am a sucker for making lists and over-planning everything. When I don't feel like I have control over a situation in my life, panic sets in. My overbearing nature has made me increasingly jealous and agitated by that which I cannot control. I've hurt people around me because of this. I've lost relationships because of this. It is one thing I do not like about myself.

Currently, I've been having some medical problems and the doctors as well as myself are still not sure what exactly is wrong. In this time I am overwhelmed by the peace that God has given me. I am working so hard to change my ways. I know that God is in full control and that he purposes ALL things for the good of those who love him.

I am especially thankful and appreciative of the love of my family and my boyfriend. My boyfriend is so loving and full of grace. He is patient, selfless and would do anything to help me in a time of need.

I have for too long allowed uncertainty to hold me captive and cause me pain. I want to be free from any worry I may have because I know in the end God is in control and I have nothing to fear.

2012. Day 2.

I have so much to be thankful for. Yesterday, I was thankful for a much needed day off. I spent my day exactly how I wanted to. I brought in the new year with the people who I love the most, my parents, siblings and my love.

I find that the older I get, the better life is becoming. I feel like the busier I get, the more I savor the moments of rest. I'm trying to make this year different. Not for new years sake, but for my own sake, for the sake of those around me, the relationships I am desperately trying to nurture and not destroy.

If anything, this year I want to savor the moments I am blessed with by God. I want to remember the struggles and be thankful for the times of abundance. I want to learn to live and spend frugally and be financially stable no matter what my personal circumstances are. Mostly, I want to learn to not only be content with what I have, but to be incredibly happy and overjoyed by these things I have not achieved, but rather I have been blessed with.

I pray that I remember that it was God alone who has given me all I have and in the end, how can I not be thankful for that. Especially with all these amazing people in it....