I've always been the kind of person who wants to have full and complete control over everything in my life. I am a sucker for making lists and over-planning everything. When I don't feel like I have control over a situation in my life, panic sets in. My overbearing nature has made me increasingly jealous and agitated by that which I cannot control. I've hurt people around me because of this. I've lost relationships because of this. It is one thing I do not like about myself.
Currently, I've been having some medical problems and the doctors as well as myself are still not sure what exactly is wrong. In this time I am overwhelmed by the peace that God has given me. I am working so hard to change my ways. I know that God is in full control and that he purposes ALL things for the good of those who love him.
I am especially thankful and appreciative of the love of my family and my boyfriend. My boyfriend is so loving and full of grace. He is patient, selfless and would do anything to help me in a time of need.
I have for too long allowed uncertainty to hold me captive and cause me pain. I want to be free from any worry I may have because I know in the end God is in control and I have nothing to fear.
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